Importance of Education

Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom, seek learning even by study and also by faith." -Doctrine and Covenants 109:7

I've always been taught that education is the most important thing to gain in this world because it is the only thing we take with us into the next life.  Growing up, I always knew that I would go to college. I cant even remember when I made that decision, it was just always there.

Sometimes I wonder why I come to school because sometimes the stress and homework doesn't seem worth it and I question why i'm doing this. It can be hard at times, but when you look at it again, knowledge is so important. It helps us progress and it is useful in families. I know that with my schooling, it is helping me prepare to be a better mother to my children one day. My parents always wanted me to get an education and they told me that it was important to always have a back-up plan just in case something were to happen to my future husband. While at school, I had some trials, and I didn't want to be at school and I thought it was pointless. However, as I gained better insights on some things and somehow I had a change of heart and I realized how important my education is. It is so important in a family and to teach my children. It also states in my patriarchal blessing things that I will be blessed with if I continue to pursue my education and it will help me in many aspects of my life.

"Mormons are urged to learn about the secular as well as the spiritual. Secular knowledge, you could say, deals with the things we learn in school—math, science, history, literature, languages, music and so on. Spiritual knowledge is what you learn through scripture study, prayer and church attendance—things like our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness, Jesus Christ's Gospel, and how to build faith. Both kinds of knowledge help us to know how to work through our individual challenges in a balanced approach.

We come to earth according to God's plan, so that we can learn and experience all the wonderful and challenging things the world has to teach us, and we have to be good students to make the most of our time here."

I also love the talk given by Gordon B. Hinkley about education, it is my favorite talk.  Go read it!

Words of the Prophet: Seek Learning

I really like this excerpt though:

In this day and time, a girl needs an education. She needs the means and skills by which to earn a living should she find herself in a situation where it becomes necessary to do so.

The whole gamut of human endeavor is now open to women. There is not anything that you cannot do if you will set your mind to it. ⁷ I am grateful that women today are afforded the same opportunity to study for science, for the professions, and for every other facet of human knowledge. You are as entitled as are men to the Spirit of Christ, which enlightens every man and woman who comes into the world (see D&C 84:46). ⁸

You can include in the dream of the woman you would like to be a picture of one qualified to serve society and make a significant contribution to the world of which she will be a part. ⁹ Set your priorities in terms of marriage and family, but also pursue educational programs which will lead to satisfying work and productive employment in case you do not marry, or to a sense of security and fulfillment in the event you do marry. Education will increase your appreciation and refine your talent. 

Growing Together Eternally

What is a family? The definition of family in this generation is quickly changing in today's generation but we hold the absolute truth of what a family truly is. We know that the family consists of a mother and a father and their children.

We know that from the Family: A Proclamation to the world it states

" Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. "

As a family, we need to be striving together for perfection. That means we need to be holding regular family home evening, family prayer and scripture study, family meal time, and other family gatherings.

President Gordon B. Hinkley gives us some spiritual blueprints for our family and our home, he says:

We have learning to gain, work to do, service to give. We are here with a marvelous inheritance, a divine endowment. How different this world would be if every person realized that all of his actions have eternal consequences. How much more satisfying our years may be if in our accumulation of knowledge, in our relationships with others, in our business affairs, in our courtship and marriage, and in our family rearing, we recognize that we form each day the stuff of which eternity is made (from Ensign, Jan. 1994, 4).

He also states:

If we would look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there would be much more of happiness in the homes of our people. There would be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling. There would be more of forgiveness, more of love, more of peace, more of happiness. This is as the Lord would have it (from Ensign, May 1998, 51).

I recommend that all of you read this mini article by President Gordon B. Hinkley. It is really inspiring and there perfect steps to aim for an eternal happy family.

Parenting

Parenting is not a simple job. It a team job between a husband and wife.  In a talk given by Larry R. Lawrence he says,

"It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. "

Parents can teach their children formally during family home evening and other family gatherings, such as daily family prayer and scripture study or at mealtimes. Teaching opportunities also come in unplanned moments as parents and children spend time working and playing together. Whatever the setting, the Lord will guide parents as they prayerfully seek to rear their children in love and righteousness.

I know I was born of goodly parents as Nephi would say. I was raised in a way to live the Gospel in my daily life. We grew up with Family Home Evening, scripture study, and we always ate dinner together.  My parents were also always consistent with us. I also think it is very important for parents to be on the same level with their kids. Parent's need to also create a relationship with their child, like a friendship. 

President Monson said:

"Children learn through gentle direction and persuasive teaching. They search for models to imitate, knowledge to acquire, things to do, and teachers to please."

I think this is so important. My mother and father were good examples to me and really good role models in their daily lives as well as in the church. I always wanted to be like my mom. My mom was my mother, but she also was a friend to me. She always listened to me and would give me motherly advice but she was also a friend to me. We had communication in our relationship and we built a trust with each other. Because of my parent's parenting to me and my siblings, I know that is why I have turned out the way I have. They taught me so much and I feel like I have grown into a successful, mature, young adult because of their parenting. 

I know that when I am a mother one day, I wont be half as good as my mother was and is, but I want to strive to be like her every single day because she is one of the best examples to me of what a perfect parent is.

Fatherhood

People always say you are going to marry someone like your dad. Growing up, I was like, no I'm not! But as I've grown up I've realized a lot of the qualities I look for in a guy are the qualities my dad possesses.

Father's also play a very important role in the family. My father is one of the most hardworking people I know.

In the talk given by L. Tom Perry, "Fatherhood, an Eternal Calling, I loved how he gave a list of the Roles of a father. I would like to share them with you:


"1. The father is the head in his family.

“Fatherhood is leadership, the most important kind of leadership. It has always been so; it always will be so. Father, with the assistance and counsel and encouragement of your eternal companion, you preside in the home. It is not a matter of whether you are most worthy or best qualified, but it is a matter of [divine] appointment.” ⁷

“You preside at the meal table, at family prayer. You preside at family home evening; and as guided by the Spirit of the Lord, you see that your children are taught correct principles. It is your place to give direction relating to all of family life.

“You give father’s blessings. You take an active part in establishing family rules and discipline. As a leader in your home you plan and sacrifice to achieve the blessing of a unified and happy family. To do all of this requires that you live a family-centered life.”  

2. The father is a teacher.

President Joseph F. Smith’s counsel applies today: “Do not let your children out to specialists … , but teach them by your own precept and example, by your own fireside. Be a specialist yourself in the truth.” 

3. The father is the temporal provider.

President Ezra Taft Benson expressed it clearly: “The Lord has charged men with the responsibility to provide for their families in such a way that the wife is allowed to fulfill her role as mother in the home. … Sometimes the mother works outside of the home at the encouragement, or even insistence, of her husband … [for the] convenience[s] that the extra income can buy. Not only will the family suffer in such instances, brethren, but your own spiritual growth and progression will be hampered.” ¹⁴

Fathers, by divine decree, you are to preside over your family units. This is a sobering responsibility and the most important one you will ever assume, for it is an eternal responsibility. You place the family in its proper priority. It’s the part of your life that will endure beyond the grave. I testify that the following statement is true:

“The position which men occupy in the family, and especially those who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood, is one of first importance and should be clearly recognized and maintained in the order and with the authority which God conferred upon man in placing him at the head of his household.... "

These excerpts from L. Tom Perry couldn't have been stated any better. These are the roles of the father and every father should live by these. I can look at these and put my Fathers name engraved in these. My father has taught me so much and I know that I want a man that has all the qualities he possesses in a future husband one day.

Receiving The Savior's Image in Our Countenance

I recently had to give a talk about receiving the Savior's image in our countenance and O tjought I would use this as one of my topics to talk about because I feel like when we as a family and individuals should always be trying to be more Christ-like. I hope you enjoy.

Receiving the Savior’s Image in Our Countenance

Good morning brothers and sisters, my name is Ashlee Skinner, and this is my fourth semester here at BYU-Idaho. I was asked to speak on receiving the Savior’s image in our countenance. At first, I didn’t know exactly what it meant. I was thinking to myself, how am I going to talk 12 minutes on this subject, but as I was preparing for this talk, I couldn’t have thought of a better subject to speak to you guys on today, especially a topic that I’ve grown in and personally seen in my life these last few months. So with that being said, what does it mean to have received his image in your countenance? In Alma 5:14 it reads

“And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countences? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?”

To receive Christ’s image in one’s countenance means to acquire the Savior’s likeness in behavior, or to be a copy or reflection of the Savior’s life. We know that we can’t become completely perfect in this lifetime, but we know one day we will be able to.

I recently just bore my testimony, which is probably the reason why I am up here today, but with that being said it was similar to what I will be talking to you guys about. Like the scripture said, usually receiving the Savior’s image in our countenance requires a change in heart, and I don’t know if you want to call this a change of heart, but like I said last week in my testimony, I had a roommate talk with one of my roommates and we talked about life and our plans. All of our plans were good and good paths to go down. I even joked with her and I said, “I know it, God is going to throw me a curve ball and be like nope, you’re wrong, I don’t want you to have that” and its funny how the Lord works because plans basically changed over night after all of that. If you were to ask me a year ago or even a couple of months ago about my future plans, I would have told you my this, this and this, and all my set plans I had for myself. This semester I had been trying to live more Christ-like though. I had goals set, and classes I was taking to help me better myself. I think after that talk I realized I was living more for my own will, I was doing good things, but I wasn’t praying about them and conversing with my Heavenly Father and asking what God’s will was for me because I wanted my plan and I thought I had it all figured out. In Alma 5:15 and 16 it says

15. Do ye exercise faith in the redemption of him who created you? Do you look forward with an eye of faith, and view this mortal body raised in immortality, and this corruption raised in incorruption, to stand before God to be judged according to the deeds which have been done in the mortal body?

 16. I say unto you, can you imagine to yourselves that ye hear the voice of the Lord, saying unto you, in that day: Come unto me ye blessed, for behold, your works have been the works of righteousness upon the face of the earth?

I think that exercising faith is a big step in being like the Savior and it’s definitely something that I’ve had to learn. We are here for the Lord and we’re on his time and we need to live in a way where we are exercising our faith we have been given and live accordingly by putting our faith into the Lord’s eternal plan with what is best for us. He knows us better than we know ourselves and has our best interest at heart. I know this is kind of cheesy, but I thought about things I had said with my roommate and how I was so against change and I wanted it my way, but I found that my heart was softened and all of a sudden I was thinking about how and what I could be doing to try to follow Christ better. I started doing things a little differently and trying to live a life more like the Savior would, trying to forget the worldly things, work on myself and being more open to God’s will, doing the little things and following the spiritual promptings I had received and while doing this learned as well to put all of my faith into Him knowing everything will workout and so far, it has.

I think there are different times in your life where we are more spiritually in tune with the spirit and more open to what the Lord wants because of the way we are living our lives. We can either live selfishly for ourselves and for the world or live like Christ would for others. He wants to give us the best and if Heavenly Father has different plans for me, I am willing to change them and follow him more fully because this life is all about: to become perfected in Christ, follow his example and obtain his attributes so that one day we can live with Him again.

Many also say that receiving the Saviors Image in our Countenance is like being born again. A lot of times people who are “born again” have a mighty change in heart. This is because we are coming unto Christ, repenting of our sins, and trying to live a perfect life like the Savior once did and showed us. I read a talk addressed in 1985 by Theodore M. Burton called, “Being Born Again,” and in his talk he told this story.

One day, as I was traveling on a plane to New England, I entered into a conversation with a young stewardess sitting in the seat next to me. Most members of our Church know how to steer a conversation toward the gospel, and, before long, we were talking about religion. She told me that she had recently been converted from her former manner of living and was now “saved.” I congratulated her. Then she added that she was now a “born-again Christian.” I asked her how she was born again, and she told me that she had accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Savior and now believed in him. I told her how wonderful that was, but explained that acceptance and belief in Jesus Christ is normally called faith. She said, “But I have changed my former way of thinking and living. I am now on the path of eternal life.”

After reading this story, I was reminded of several incidents in my own life where I needed to decide if I was going to live the way that Heavenly Father wants us to or the way I wanted to. When I was in high school, I had the opportunity to live in the Marshall Islands for 3 years with my family. A little background on this tiny little island: Its called Kwajalein and it is located in the middle of the Pacific Ocean between Hawaii and Guam. It is a military base that tests and tracks all the defense missiles around the world.  It is about 2.5 miles long and about a half mile wide. There are about 1200 people residing there, and guess how many youth of the church we had on the island…. Out of the 120 students there were about 4 kids in my high school/ junior high combined. During these 3 years, I was faced with many hard decisions. I grew up in Arizona where the majority of my friends were all members and I never had to face many hard temptations.  Living on this little island, yes, I had the best of friends, but they participated in things that I decided that, when I moved there that I would not engage in. This is one of the first times I was faced with the decision if I was going to reflect Christ’s countenance or join in on the ways the world. While living there, I will admit at times it was really hard, I felt like sometimes my friends would diss me when I decided not to do some things and say, “What is up with you and Mormonism?” “Or why do you do that?”  I know when I came in situations like that, where I chose to have the light in Christ in me, it was not easy like I said, but in the end, I impacted some people.

 I had a friend named Alex. My junior year we became a lot closer. Alex was a very talented kid and at that time, he was a senior in high school and had so much going for him. However, he already was a serious alcoholic at the age 18. Whether he would drink at parties or by himself, his life started deteriorating.  As we hung out, he would offer me these things, and I would always joke around with him about how he needed to stop or drop little hints to him.  One day we had a talk and I don’t remember exactly what was said but after that, something changed and he tried to stop drinking. He would tell me his progress and then at parties would look at me and smile because he didn’t drink anything. I didn’t really know that it was me that had made such an impact on him until I moved 5 months later and he wrote me a letter. In the letter, he told me that I had something different about me that no one else on this island had. He said it was because of my example to him that I was the reason he stopped drinking. he is someone who I have witnessed that made me realize that we both are striving to receive His image in our countenance.  Alex noticed the way I lived my life trying to emulate the Savior, noticed how happy I was, and he changed because he wanted that too. Now, Alex today is completely a whole new person. He leads services and plays guitar at his protestant church, and since I’ve been back to visit my parents during Christmas and summer, he is the one who actively has lead the Bible Studies and service projects for the college kids and it is amazing to see his new found light and is trying to be like our Savior. (Alex Letter)

As true as it is, even though I set an example for him by the way I was living and he saw it, he is a better example than I’ll ever be. I think its amazing that it was his own choice to live a Christ-like life and that he has completely changed his life to follow God and he has been the best example to me, even though he’s not a member of our Church, he is trying to be like the Savior. He is trying to have the image of God engraven in his countenances like this scripture in Alma says in verse 19

19 I say unto you, can ye look up to God at that day with a pure heart and clean hands? I say unto you, can you look up, having the image of God engraven upon your countenances

I have many stories that I could tell you about trying to live like the Savior when I was living in a place where members were scarce, but I’ll share one more.  At a younger age I decided I would dress modestly. It was a decision I chose to live because I wanted to not because I was asked to. Living in the Marshall Islands, going to the beach on a weekly basis, requires wearing a swimsuit. To live like the Savior would, I decided to still remain modest even though I was the only one. There were times in the beginning where I felt kind of embarrassed, thinking to myself, I feel so different and they are probably thinking I’m the weirdest person for wearing a swimsuit like this. I mean we’ve all heard comments or remarks from others that aren’t of our faith that think we live so “differently” and we can’t do anything, that there are too many rules and that we are in simple terms “weird.” However, one day, I received a message on Facebook from one of my teachers (Not a member) that I had in 8^th grade that I kind of kept in contact with. She wrote me a little message that I’ll share with you guys:

Hey Ashlee! I just wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you for your modesty & maturity in your fb pics, specifically your swimsuit photos. (I'm trying not to sound creepy!) Your positive morals and what you stand for show through your pictures and that's extremely rare these days!.....

 I think after receiving that message, I never doubted living my standards and living like the Savior would because people are always watching no matter what and to know that I was “caught” trying to emulate what the Savior would do and was recognized thanked for it, I knew I wanted to live a more Christ-like life. I feel like becoming like the Savior is forgetting about the worldly things and the worldly standards. It’s being able to give up these things, to follow Christ and to mirror his example. 

In closing I found a song that fit perfectly into this talk and I wanted to read you some excerpts from it.  It’s called His Image in Your Countenance by Janice Perry:

We seek for light and learning as followers of Christ
That all may see His goodness reflected in our lives.

When we receive His fullness and lose desire for sin
We radiate His perfect love, A beauty from within.

The ways of man may tempt us and some will be deceived,
Prefering worldly beauty, Forgetting truth received,
But whisprings of the Spirit remind us once again
That lasting beauty, pure and clear must come from deep within.

Motherhood

Who helped you take your first steps? What about tie your own shoe?

It was your mom.

This is my mom, Kathy. If you know my momma, you know she can do ANYTHING from marathons to building anything to a house.

Every time I watch a video or a little and tender interaction with a mother and her child, I can't help but choke up a little inside. Motherhood has always been something I hold so near and dear to my heart. The one thing I have always wanted to be is a mother.

I was blessed with the best mother I could ever ask for. No one wanted to be a mom more than my mother did. She had to wait 5 long years to adopt her first child and also another 10 years to adopted my twin brother and I. She wanted 12 kids when she married my father, but with how hard adoption was because they couldn't have their own kids, they were blessed to adopt 4 kids.

Motherhood is very sacred. Motherhood is a partnership with God. It is the "highest, holiest, service assumed by humankind. It's the definition of selfless service. It's both a daunting responsibility and a glorious opportunity. The divine role of motherhood is a git from God, and key to His plan of happiness for all His children."

My mom is always there for me. I seriously don't know where I would be without my mother. She is the definition of my best friend. We do everything together, she is my personal therapist, my workout buddy, my fashion advice, my road trip partner, and the reason behind my Diet Coke addiction.  If Heavenly Father did not bless me with my mother that I have today, I seriously would not be the person I am today.














My mom always tried to be there for us. She always made sure that she was home when we got home from school to ask our day was. She was always trying to help us be our best self and she never failed. She inspires me to be a mother and person just like she is. She has accomplished so many things in her life because of her dedication, motivation, and just simply just because of the person she is.



Julie A. Beck describes my mother perfectly in the quote, and I'm sure many other mothers in this world today:

“THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT A MOTHER CAN ACCOMPLISH. RIGHTEOUS WOMEN HAVE CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY AND WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO.”

I am so grateful for mothers. It makes me want to be a mother and I am so excited one day to join in on that. Mothers are special and one of a kind, and there is no one like them!

Keeping the Spark

My mom has always told me that Marriage is a wonderful thing, but KEEP IT ALIVE. She always gives me advice saying, "make sure you do this, and this, and this after your married. Its not always going to be the 'honeymoon stage' forever, real life will settle in."

Although I am not married... yet, I still am trying to learn as much as I can so that when I am one day, I will be able to do my best to keep that spark. Eternity is a long time. ;) 

As I was researching this topic more, I stumbled upon an article called: 12 Ways to Have a Happy Marriage. Here are the twelve steps: 

1.  Marriage Based on Faith on Jesus Christ

2. Pray Together

3. Study the Scriptures Together

4. Have Charity for Each Other

5. Only Use Kind Words

6. Show Gratitude

7. Give Thoughtful Gifts

8. Choose to Be Happy

9. Keep Stress Levels Low

10.  Continue to Date

11. It Takes Time

12. Complete Fidelity 

I think these steps are completely critical, some more than others as well, yet there needs to be a balance. I feel like one of the most important steps I read was CONTINUE TO DATE.  Just because you are married does not mean you stop dating, KEEP DATING!!

 A family I nannied for a couple years ago set a really good example for me and something that I knew I wanted to do when I got married. I nannied for them every Saturday night while they were able to go on a date. They always had something planned or a place to go together. I just really loved that and I knew I wanted to make that apart of my marriage since I was 13. 

Another thing I liked when I was reading an Ensign talk by Paul E. Dahl, Keeping Your Marriage Alive, it said one of the things to do was; DO SOMETHING SPEICAL FOR THE OTHER PERSON EVERY DAY. 

I really think that is important in your marriage to show them why you love them everyday. Many marriages end because one or both spouses take each other for granted. We need to be involved in their lives and their interests and passions. Life gets crazy, yet WE NEED TO FIND THAT TIME just like the family I nannied did.

I really liked how Dahl said: 

Sometimes couples think they get too old to do special things for each other and to express appreciation. But age doesn’t have to present a barrier. An excellent example comes from Mrs. Edwin R. (Mary) Firmage, the daughter of President and Sister Hugh B. Brown, who shared the following regarding the marriage of her parents in their later years:

“Up until Mother’s stroke they’d go through a ritual daily. Daddy would get up from the breakfast table that Mother had set very nicely, with a pretty cloth, matching napkins, and flowers. He’d kiss her good-bye and then they would walk to the front porch together.

“Daddy would go down three steps, and then turn around and ask, ‘Did I kiss you good-bye?’ Mother would answer, ‘Why, no, you didn’t.’ Daddy would kiss her again.

“As he walked to the car, Mother would run into the dining room where she would blow kisses to him from the window. While Daddy was backing the car out of the drive, mother would run back to the porch where she’d wave a handkerchief until he drove out of sight.

“Just before the car turned the corner, daddy would blink the brake lights three times, his code for ‘I love you.’” (Church News, 26 Oct. 1974, p. 5.)

If we keep doing the little things, we will keep our marriage strong and keep that spark! 

Preparing for Marriage

President Gordon B. Hinckley said: “This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry.“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. … Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2).

Preparing for marriage can be kinda scary. I am 20 years old, and to many that might be very young, but I have already been taking the steps to prepare for marriage. First off, by taking The Family class as well as Family Foundations,  it has already helped me in so many ways. 


Preparing is a scary step. We should already work towards finding a spouse, but take caution in the people you are around and the people you date. It is a very vital part of our lives and we need to be ready because believe me, when you aren't looking for anything, it'll find you when you least expect it. 

 Elder Eric B. Shumway says in his talk, "Preparing for Marriage," 

"One of the alarming phenomena in our society today is the continuing decline of the traditional family—that is, a father and mother married with children. This is seen in the increase of divorce, the number of children being raised by one parent, the eagerness of many people to redefine marriage to fit diverse lifestyles, and the hesitancy for a variety of reasons of many young people to enter into formal marriage. Each of these is an impediment and adversary to the family. They create confusion, heartbreak, and sorrow in ever-widening circles." 

We need to be developing qualities that will prepare us for marriage. If we aren't preparing, we aren't going to attract the ones that we want to marry.  Elder Shumway talks about this and says that "You can’t do a crash course in marriage in a few weeks or months before you kneel at the altar and expect to establish a warm, lasting, nurturing relationship." 

My mom always told  me that when you get married, its not going to be the honeymoon stage forever. She stressed,  "Your first year of marriage is going to be the hardest, so prepare NOW."  

Have you ever wondered if there is one specific person in your life? A soul mate? For a long time, i thought there was, but as I matured and grew, I learned that there is not just one perfect person for you. It all depends on what path you chose to take and how prepared you are. I was always worried like, "Is he the one for me? Is Heavenly Father going to tell me that I should not marry him even though I love him so much?"  I know the answer. He won't. It is simply YOUR choice. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you love him?
2. You you two honor and respect each other and your covenants you've made?
3. Does he make you happy?
4. Are you two striving to be better and become more Christ-like together? 


The steps are the same in the Preparing for Eternal Marriage Teacher Manual:

“Be worthy of the mate you choose.”

“Marry the right person in the right place at the right time.”

 “Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy.”

 “Choose a companion you can always honor.”

“Choose a companion … you can always respect.”

“Choose a companion … who will complement you in your own life.”

 “Choose a companion … to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty.”

The decision is yours and no one can take that away from you. Pray about it though, go to the temple, do the things that make you more christ-like and the answer will come to you.  Elder Spencer W. Kimball gives these words of advice:

“In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness” (“Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 3).


I've also learned that the if we learn to love the Lord a little more each and everyday, the more we will be able to love our future spouse and children.