Preparing for Marriage

President Gordon B. Hinckley said: “This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry.“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. … Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2).

Preparing for marriage can be kinda scary. I am 20 years old, and to many that might be very young, but I have already been taking the steps to prepare for marriage. First off, by taking The Family class as well as Family Foundations,  it has already helped me in so many ways. 


Preparing is a scary step. We should already work towards finding a spouse, but take caution in the people you are around and the people you date. It is a very vital part of our lives and we need to be ready because believe me, when you aren't looking for anything, it'll find you when you least expect it. 

 Elder Eric B. Shumway says in his talk, "Preparing for Marriage," 

"One of the alarming phenomena in our society today is the continuing decline of the traditional family—that is, a father and mother married with children. This is seen in the increase of divorce, the number of children being raised by one parent, the eagerness of many people to redefine marriage to fit diverse lifestyles, and the hesitancy for a variety of reasons of many young people to enter into formal marriage. Each of these is an impediment and adversary to the family. They create confusion, heartbreak, and sorrow in ever-widening circles." 

We need to be developing qualities that will prepare us for marriage. If we aren't preparing, we aren't going to attract the ones that we want to marry.  Elder Shumway talks about this and says that "You can’t do a crash course in marriage in a few weeks or months before you kneel at the altar and expect to establish a warm, lasting, nurturing relationship." 

My mom always told  me that when you get married, its not going to be the honeymoon stage forever. She stressed,  "Your first year of marriage is going to be the hardest, so prepare NOW."  

Have you ever wondered if there is one specific person in your life? A soul mate? For a long time, i thought there was, but as I matured and grew, I learned that there is not just one perfect person for you. It all depends on what path you chose to take and how prepared you are. I was always worried like, "Is he the one for me? Is Heavenly Father going to tell me that I should not marry him even though I love him so much?"  I know the answer. He won't. It is simply YOUR choice. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you love him?
2. You you two honor and respect each other and your covenants you've made?
3. Does he make you happy?
4. Are you two striving to be better and become more Christ-like together? 


The steps are the same in the Preparing for Eternal Marriage Teacher Manual:

“Be worthy of the mate you choose.”

“Marry the right person in the right place at the right time.”

 “Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy.”

 “Choose a companion you can always honor.”

“Choose a companion … you can always respect.”

“Choose a companion … who will complement you in your own life.”

 “Choose a companion … to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty.”

The decision is yours and no one can take that away from you. Pray about it though, go to the temple, do the things that make you more christ-like and the answer will come to you.  Elder Spencer W. Kimball gives these words of advice:

“In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts. Emotions must not wholly determine decisions, but the mind and the heart, strengthened by fasting and prayer and serious consideration, will give one a maximum chance of marital happiness” (“Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 3).


I've also learned that the if we learn to love the Lord a little more each and everyday, the more we will be able to love our future spouse and children.