Keeping the Spark

My mom has always told me that Marriage is a wonderful thing, but KEEP IT ALIVE. She always gives me advice saying, "make sure you do this, and this, and this after your married. Its not always going to be the 'honeymoon stage' forever, real life will settle in."

Although I am not married... yet, I still am trying to learn as much as I can so that when I am one day, I will be able to do my best to keep that spark. Eternity is a long time. ;) 

As I was researching this topic more, I stumbled upon an article called: 12 Ways to Have a Happy Marriage. Here are the twelve steps: 

1.  Marriage Based on Faith on Jesus Christ

2. Pray Together

3. Study the Scriptures Together

4. Have Charity for Each Other

5. Only Use Kind Words

6. Show Gratitude

7. Give Thoughtful Gifts

8. Choose to Be Happy

9. Keep Stress Levels Low

10.  Continue to Date

11. It Takes Time

12. Complete Fidelity 

I think these steps are completely critical, some more than others as well, yet there needs to be a balance. I feel like one of the most important steps I read was CONTINUE TO DATE.  Just because you are married does not mean you stop dating, KEEP DATING!!

 A family I nannied for a couple years ago set a really good example for me and something that I knew I wanted to do when I got married. I nannied for them every Saturday night while they were able to go on a date. They always had something planned or a place to go together. I just really loved that and I knew I wanted to make that apart of my marriage since I was 13. 

Another thing I liked when I was reading an Ensign talk by Paul E. Dahl, Keeping Your Marriage Alive, it said one of the things to do was; DO SOMETHING SPEICAL FOR THE OTHER PERSON EVERY DAY. 

I really think that is important in your marriage to show them why you love them everyday. Many marriages end because one or both spouses take each other for granted. We need to be involved in their lives and their interests and passions. Life gets crazy, yet WE NEED TO FIND THAT TIME just like the family I nannied did.

I really liked how Dahl said: 

Sometimes couples think they get too old to do special things for each other and to express appreciation. But age doesn’t have to present a barrier. An excellent example comes from Mrs. Edwin R. (Mary) Firmage, the daughter of President and Sister Hugh B. Brown, who shared the following regarding the marriage of her parents in their later years:

“Up until Mother’s stroke they’d go through a ritual daily. Daddy would get up from the breakfast table that Mother had set very nicely, with a pretty cloth, matching napkins, and flowers. He’d kiss her good-bye and then they would walk to the front porch together.

“Daddy would go down three steps, and then turn around and ask, ‘Did I kiss you good-bye?’ Mother would answer, ‘Why, no, you didn’t.’ Daddy would kiss her again.

“As he walked to the car, Mother would run into the dining room where she would blow kisses to him from the window. While Daddy was backing the car out of the drive, mother would run back to the porch where she’d wave a handkerchief until he drove out of sight.

“Just before the car turned the corner, daddy would blink the brake lights three times, his code for ‘I love you.’” (Church News, 26 Oct. 1974, p. 5.)

If we keep doing the little things, we will keep our marriage strong and keep that spark!